How to convince your partner into swinging
We recommend that your sexual partner read this web page first! If you are reading this web page for the first time, it could be that you have just found this page or your partner wants you to hear firsthand about the advantages and disadvantages of swinging from a couple that have been swinging for many years.
If your partner has asked you to read this web page, they are very secure about your relationship together and are asking you to consider experimenting in a lifestyle that could enhance your sexual relationship and possibly fulfil some of the sexual fantasies both of you have been talking about from time to time. Please read this entire web page before you pass judgment on your partner’s idea, they are sincere in wanting you to have more fun with sex than you thought possible.
Where Is My Partner Dragging Me
You and your partner are very sexually active with each other, possibly having sex four or five times a week. If you are not sexually active with each other, the swinging lifestyle is not for you. Many couples try to fix a marriage by trying this lifestyle with terrible results.
Many happy couples can enhance their sex in the swinging lifestyle. In most cases the male partner asks the female partner to consider trying the swinger’s lifestyle. In some cases it is the other way around. There are some partners that are asking you for selfish reasons, but in most cases your partner wants both of you to try something a bit daring sexually which could be a lot of fun for both of you.
In many cases the person who is dragged or goes reluctantly into the lifestyle usually enjoys the adventure more than the person who did the asking. If your partner’s reasons were selfish or not, you have an opportunity to have your sexual fantasies catered to or at least get something new to wear. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I Don’t Want To Share My Partner
In the swinging lifestyle, you do not have to share your partner. Many couples enter the swinging lifestyle by placing ads, joining erotic social clubs, attending private parties, and many other events and clubs. One of the most erotic and sexually stimulating experiences that both of you could have in the swinging lifestyle is with other couples that have similar interests in sex that both of you have.
Many couples are surprised to find other couples with the same fantasies or likes and dislikes about sex. You and your partner will have to discuss both of your sexual fantasies and seriously consider if you would like to have your sexual fantasies come true. Some couples are only looking for a third person to join them; other couples are looking for couples. Many women in the swinging lifestyle are bi and there are many couples looking to experiment in this area.
I Have A Fantasy, Do You?
Your partner has a fantasy, in most cases that’s why you have been asked to read this web page. If you do not know what that fantasy may be, it’s time to find out. Your partner must realize that if they have a fantasy they would like to see fulfilled, your fantasies are just as important and they are offering you an opportunity to tell them about your fantasy. If they already know what your fantasies are, they are now willing to help you get what you want.
Meeting other swing couples or joining a swing club will give both of you many opportunities to fulfil both of your sexual fantasies no matter how strange or unattainable you think your fantasies are. We can’t emphasize enough that everyone’s fantasies are different. Some people fantasize about voyeurism, swapping partners, fetishes, exhibitionism, nudity, dressing sexy, flirting and many more.
What is important at this point is to get informed, do your homework and take a small step into the lifestyle to see what it is all about. You will be pleasantly surprised at the number of couples involved in the lifestyle and how sensitive and friendly they are to new couples joining or trying the lifestyle for the first time.
Actually turning a fantasy into reality is much harder than most people think. If you have already asked your neighbours or friends to help you fulfil a sexual fantasy, you will know the difficulties we are referring to. Once you meet active swingers your sexual fantasies are much easier to plan with no embarrassment to friends, family and your neighbours. All swingers respect your privacy, because they expect the same privacy from both of you in return.
I’m Only in Love with You
Almost all couples involved in swinging are looking for sexual excitement not love. If your partner lets you talk to people, dance with people, work with people, eat with people, go to the gym with people, join clubs with people, with all these things then why can’t you play with nor have sex with them? A partnership is more than just sex.
There must be a strong bond between both of you in your relationship. Most swingers play as a team and enjoy the lifestyle immensely knowing their partner is having a great time. Your partner is very open-minded about sex and believes you are as well. Your must be very open about sex in order to avoid jealousy. Jealousy can be a terrible weapon or an excellent tool to get your partner hot for you. Falling in love or searching for a replacement partner is the furthest thing from swinger’s minds.
Swinging is very similar to taking vacations together, fond memories of couples you met or played with or private parties that were better than the adults videos you used to rent. When you experience these new sensations together, they become memories that will last a lifetime. Every persons touch and sexual play is different.
Watching your partner play or have an orgasm with a new partner or watching your partner making a new partner have an orgasm is very erotic. You will learn a great deal about each other and learn many new ways to play with or turn on your partner.
I Was Scared To Ask You
Your partner was probably scared to ask you directly about considering this lifestyle. Anything new or unknown is scary the first time around. You are probably scared yourself about being asked to consider this proposal. In some cases you might be downright mad! Most people are scared or concerned for many good reasons such as diseases, privacy issues, losing their partner if you say no and many others. If you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say no. This lifestyle is not for everyone.
Don’t be afraid to ask your partner about their fears, the more informed both of you are about the swinging lifestyle, the better you will be able to determine if this erotic adventure is for both of you or not. Swingers who have gone before you have all gone through the difficult process of approaching each other about joining the swinging lifestyle.
It’s almost like asking you out on a date for the first time again. Some people are very at ease about asking and many find it very difficult. If you or your partner has to get drunk to have sex or talk openly to each other is a warning sign of difficult times ahead if you get involved in swinging. Most swingers drink very little or not at all to have a good time.
Many Years of Ups & Downs
We would like to be very honest with you about the swinging lifestyle. When we first started out, we had no guidance, books or internet to tell us the steps to take. We stumbled into swinging with friends, all four of us trying something risky for the first time. There are so many clubs and information today that will provide you with a great head start. There is also a great deal of bad information about swinging out there as well. We made many mistakes over the years in swinging and learned many lessons along the way.
Our best advice is to talk over all the issues of the lifestyle, get informed, go at the pace of the slowest partner, set ground rules before you play, play safe, respect every new partners feelings, talk about your fears and fantasies and really take time to enjoy the good times when they present themselves. Please don’t hesitate to e-mail us if you have questions or concerns about this lifestyle. We have been married since 1977 and started swinging very young. We have never regretted getting into this lifestyle! We were and still are very sexually active with each other and we always find ways to experience something new together or with other couples.
We hope that you will realize that your partner wants you to explore different sexual pleasures with you. Don’t be afraid to test the waters, if it’s not for you that are OK, but if you can’t seem to get enough, welcome aboard the adventure of a lifetime. The first time we attended an Erotic Social Club to meet and dance with other couples, we could not wait till we got home. It was many years since we had made love in a car. Many of our fantasies have been fulfilled over the years, but we keep thinking up new ones. If we have helped you in any way to become involved in the swinging lifestyle, we would love to hear about it and perhaps we might bump into each other in the bedroom.
On a final note, the swinging lifestyle is very safe, classy, comfortable and a lot of fun if you get informed. It can be very scary and uncomfortable when you are first starting out and these are normal feelings. We do worry about couples who do not have any fears or concerns when they join the lifestyle for the 1st time.
Once you meet other active swingers and visit adult swing clubs, you will be pleasantly surprised how open other couples are about swinging and how helpful clubs can be to make you both feel comfortable while you learn about your new sexual journey together.